NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman dies and goes to heaven (yes, it's still possible). Once there, he sees the nice little house just inside the gate. An angel says to him, "This is where you will be spending eternity, the house that has been prepared for you." Soon, Mr. Bettman looks around and inside the moddest little house is decorated with little pennants, hockey sticks, banners, and many other rare memoribilia. He looks out the little window of the house and sees off in the distance a large mansion. The mansion is adorned with black and gold pillars. The windows are large and expensively designed with black and gold stained glass. Mr. Bettman squints and looks closer and notices that the windows have the Penguins logo on it while the big oak door is adorned with the Penguins secondary logo. Mr. Bettman asks, "Angel, why does Mario Lemieux get such a big house?"
To which the Angel replies, "That's not Mario's. That's God's house!"
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