Sunday, December 04, 2005

Dr. Phil Fantasy Episode #2

Last time around, the Dr. Phil Fantasy Episode was a modest hit. We tried to get two factions on the Ottawa Senators to see eye to eye. But it only resulted in Hossa getting traded.

This time around, word has gotten out that a certain broadcaster for the LA Kings and an Ottawa Senators coach have been feuding. This can't happen in "my NHL"! So, only one man can possibly help these two make amends - Dr. Phil McGraw!

Dr Phil: Alright, today on our progr'm we have a cooach of a hockey franchise in Ottawa which I understand is very good, is that correct?

Murray: Yes. Yes it is.

Dr Phil: Okay, and we also have a former hockey player who now broadcasts for the Kings near here in LA. Izthat rite? How's that werkin' fer ya?

Fox: It's great, Dr. Phil.

Dr. Phil: (feigns interest) That's wonderful. Now, Mr. Murray, can you tell us in your own wurds just what happened in the Corel Centre after the game?

Fox: (interrupting) He got his biggest goon out there to beat up on Gleason....

Murray: Will you shut the *bleep* up! He was asking me, you *bleep* bleep*

Dr. Phil: Settle down guys!

Murray: Okay, so there was an altercation during the last minutes of the game and this *bleep* chose to *bleep* hide behind a *bleep* microphone.

Fox: I hope you never have to step out on the ice, cuz then you'd be in big trouble!

Murray: Oh, are you *bleep* threatening me now?

Dr. Phil: Coach Murray, we're gonna have ta do somethin' about that language you are usin'! Now Jimmy, you have the coach here in front of you. Why don't you explain what you said in the booth.

Fox: I said that he was classless for doing that with a 5-1 lead like that.

Dr. Phil: Now, coach, you shuld know that you can't rock th' baby ta sleep if yer goin' ta rise with the eagles in the mornin'!

Murray: That makes absolutely no *bleep* sense like this *bleep*tard over here. I've never done this in my entire career. And that's just *bleep* ridiculous!

Dr. Phil: Hey now! I've already warned ya about that language yer usin! Now, we have to settle this s'mehow. Are you going to stop ordering your players to fight at the end of the game?

Murray: I'm *bleep* outa here!

Dr. Phil: Okay, now Jimmy...... what are you going to do to help yourself in this situation?

Fox: Well, when the coach confronted me in the arena, I just stood there and took it. I didn't have my microphone on me so I didn't say anything.

Dr. Phil: Now are you going to make character judgements about other people from the safety of your broadcast booth?

Fox: Hey, I'm just going to call 'em like I see 'em!

Dr. Phil: Okay, I think we've made some progress here! Remember folks, it's not going to help much when you goon other people's character. People don't often think about the feelings of others when they make snap judgements. If you want to say something nasty, you should b'able to say it to thur faces. Take on the day!

[Via: Let's Go Kings ]
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