Hockey's Not-So-Macho Movie

I believe hockey is the best fit for all the needed requirements to make a great movie. However, Hollywood has treated our great sport with a hit or miss resulting in movies that don't get mainstream appeal. The latest movie to feature hockey is pro wrestler turned thespian Dwayne Johnson's tale of how a pro athlete can look extremely silly in a pink tutu. Yea... “The Rock” is now doing kids movies. Before this film, Dwayne Johnson had developed into an action hero, but before his fans can say “typecasting”, Johnson now picks roles that define a fish out of water. But will this film flop like a fish with fans?

“Tooth Fairy” is a 20th Century FOX production that does it's best to adapt a violent and sometimes brutal game of musclebound macho men into a story that flips everything around into a sensitivity training lesson. Even though the main character is a pro hockey player, the game is treated as just an occupation. And anything resembling a sports movie is purely coincidental.

Johnson portrays a fictional minor league hockey player Derek Thompson who relishes in his identity for hitting opposing players so hard that teeth go flying. So, from the opening title sequence, we are treated with random hockey action. The crowd cheers Derek in hopes that they might see another molar extraction. Once again, Hollywood has chosen to emphasize the negative aspects of hockey to movie audiences. The hope of having a hockey movie ever becoming a mainstream appeal just might be as realistic as fairies. Thompson is so comfortable with his role as the enforcing muscle, he has his own leather recliner seat in the penalty box. Soon after the hockey chicanery, the film's plot takes over as quick as a line change.

Derek Thompson soon learns that the latest edition to his team, the Lansing Ice Wolves, is a superstar prospect that needs protection. The superstar, Mick Donnelly (Ryan Sheckler), instantly shows no interest in bonding to any of his teammates knowing he is only there to get ready for the major leagues. Derek becomes embittered with the task of protecting a brash kid and takes it out on another young fan seeking an autograph. Derek Thompson doesn't believe anymore.

His terrible attitude spills over into his private life with his girlfriend Carly, played by the aging but still exquisite Ashley Judd. She has a teenage son and precocious pint-sized daughter. No matter how much he tries, Thompson cannot relate to the kids. But magic intends to change that to protect other youngsters from not believing.

For two weeks Thompson is condemned to moonlight as a powder blue silk pajama and matching tights wearing tooth fairy – including wings. For the rest of the movie, Derek Thompson is clumsily balancing his masculinity while acquiring children's teeth without getting caught or his sentence will be extended further.

The hockey action is replaced by a cameo performance by Billy Crystal as Jerry the fairy who equips Derek Thompson with every tool he needs. Crystal gives another classic performance equal to his appearance in The Princess Bride (1987). Crystal even returns at the end donned in LA Kings paraphernalia. The movie even squeezes another elegant performance from another silver screen diamond Julie Andrews as the distinguished head fairy to turn up an eyebrow at every klutzy Dwayne Johnson scene.

By the end of the film, Derek Thompson discovers that not only should little children continue to use the magic of make believe, but Derek teaches some respect to the bratty superstar teammate. Finally, through Derek, we all learn the lesson that so little movies seem to exclude – the ability to believe in yourself.

Before I saw the film, I gathered some representative sampling of the interest that may or may not be gathering for the “Tooth Fairy”. If this film is successful, then maybe hockey movies may not get extinct in mainstream Hollywood. But, I allowed myself to be swayed to the populist opinion that “Tooth Fairy” may not be any good. After the film, Dwayne Johnson and cast made a believer out of me.

3.5 hockey sticks out of 5
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COHF Meets Tyler Kennedy

Despite not being able to get much footage of actually meeting Tyler, I try to explain my experience while waiting in line to the Mall @ Robinson.
Find more videos like this on Confessions of a Hockey Fanatic
Notified by e-mail, I was certainly glad that I got to purchase a DVD and get it autographed by a Stanley Cup winner.

Love Guru a Hit and Miss

Mike Myers, of Austin Powers fame, has delivered yet another character in Pitka, a master guru of love connections. However, Myers character cannot know carnal love himself until he learns to love himself at the behest of his own teacher. I first broke the news way back in August 2007.

Myers is up to his old tricks by interspersing penis jokes into his films and this time, with random hockey action. I was hoping that this movie was going to reboot interest in hockey in Hollywood, but thanks to Mike Myers' sophomoric humor, I don't think it is going to do all that well. Dare I say - "bomb".

There are only a few things that I did like in The Love Guru film. The first being the Leafs in the Stanley Cup finals. Sports movies are all about the impossible coming to realization, if only for a thrill. The Leafs are far from the cup, but at least Leafs fans get a small taste of what it would have looked like.

Attired in my Maple Leafs jersey, I paid to go see this film opening weekend because I was eager to see just how well hockey and the Toronto Maple Leafs were going to be treated. Myers is a Leafs fan, so no doubt it would be a positive role.

Guru Pitka is hired by the Maple Leafs to get the fictitious star captain Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) back with his estranged wife so that his on-ice play could resume to superstar status and win the Stanley Cup. The main nemesis in the film is Jacques "Le Cock" Grande a well-endowed goalie for the LA Kings (who just so happens to be playing in the Cup Finals. Rob Blake is the only real NHL star to make an appearance despite all the AHL Marlies stand-ins hired to make the film.

Jessica Alba, portraying the Leafs team President, gives an underrated performance as she is riddled by esteem issues since the Leafs have looked like a disaster on the ice. By the end of the film, Alba stands up to the rowdy Leafs fans in classic fashion.

Lastly, there is some really great positive self help tips sprinkled through the beginning of this movie that actually makes sense. I am seriously considering some of the wisdom offered by Pitka to his group.

"There is no failure, only early attempts at success" - Guru Pitka

But if you can't quite take my word for it, then go ahead and read this brief blog entry Occasional Superheroine: Best Worst Review Ever...

Mariska Hargitay!

[Via: The Love Guru Official Site]

Myers Doing Hockey Movie in 2008

Perhaps things are starting to turn the corner for hockey's popularity with the mainstream media. Okay, so maybe that is too much to hope for, but tonight I saw scrolling at the bottom of G4 TV some good Hollywood news. Mike Myers will be introducing a new character in a movie slated for a Spring 2008 release called "The Love Guru". In it, Myers is an American who was stranded in India who then grows up fully acclimated to that culture. He then returns to America with the name, Pitka, and is employed to become a "relationship coach/doctor".

Signed on to do the films is multi-faceted actress Jessica Alba who will portray a hockey team owner who employs Myers' Pitka to fix the star hockey captain who learns his wife has been cheating on him with a rival player. Just like actors who go on medical dramas with no medical experience, I wonder if Jessica knows what a "wrist shot" or "body check" are.

Also expected to be in the picture is Myers' lil' buddy Verne Troyer who will be the hockey team's coach. Romany Malco is also going to be in the film as the beleaguered hockey player.

I don't know if this film will be any good. One would have to be a Myers fan that understands his brand of humor. Also, it may or may not have a lot of hockey in it, just like the masochistic tease "Little Black Book" that made some sports fans sit through daring themselves not to jam butter knives into their eyes. The saving grace of this "Guru" project will be that Myers is a devoted hockey fan and knows the game well enough not to betray the fans.

[Via: Cinema Blend]

Hockey Movie Review

Imagine that you are a dad in Ontario and have a special son that you teach everything you know about the game of hockey. You ride along with him and collect many prizes and mementos along with a career of achievement. Now, thy to picture being that same dad and waking up one morning to forgetting 50 years of absolutely everything done.

So, I notice on the shelf at my local Blockbuster and was pleasantly surprised to see that there are more hockey movies produced than Slapshot and The Mighty Ducks. This DVD was a special edition of the life of a special man who an entire nation considered with the title "Hockey Dad". It looked inspirational and I need some real inspiration in my life lately, so I gave it a try.

Before I tell you about "Waking up Wally", I simply must commend my good friends up north for producing quality television entertainment that far outshines the gutter-trash that Hollywood churns out while responsible for corrupting America's national soul. I have really been enjoying some of the syndicated Canadian content that has trickled down to my television set these past few years. Red Green Show, Stone Undercover, and now this. The kid's a-ight!

This movie is one of those tricky ones were Men can get some enjoyment out of it and still get points with women as a "date movie". It is based on the book Walter Gretzky: On Family, Hockey and Healing and chronicles a struggling man through a recovery of a debilitating stroke. This movie has all the ingredients of what a good movie should be so that it can be everything to everyone. Romance, loss, mystery, drama, sadness, and of course hockey!

The crown jewel of this film is Tom McCamus (seen above) who portrays Walter Gretzky in such a complex yet charming way that you cant help but root for the stubborn man throughout the film. Interlaced with Gretzky memories and a reshoot of Wayne's April 1999 retirement in New York, Walter on the screen commands such a deep respect as a patriarch, but wins everybody over becoming child-like re-learning his surroundings. In the film, most movie extras are comfortable with Wayne's dad and just address him as Wally. In one memorable scene, Walter is fussing over the Gretzky trophy room threatening to charity auction off Wayne's sticks and sweaters, his wife confronts him to which Wally can only justify the idea by saying "It is only a puck. You can get one of those at Canadian Tire for $1.99."

Besides the comedic relief, there is the moments that forcibly yank at the heartstrings of every caring individual. Much of the movie covers the frustrations of his family who no longer see their Walter as a tough and strong person. Wally Gretzky struggles with the few mixed memories of his childhood and those of own family. The movie then becomes almost a mystery as the therapists and Gretzky family fight for a cure-all to restore Wally's post-brain hemorrhage condition. It took the love of hockey for Wally to gain some strength and a sense of purpose. Wally soon found a midget team to coach and impart some wisdom to a new generation of hockey players.

The one theme through the movie was the strategy that Walter Gretzky taught his sons that tied into the lesson at the end. "Don't go where [the puck] was. Follow where it is going." So true is that philosophy in hockey to also apply to life.

So then, I was able to find my inspiration after all. God bless you, Walter Gretzky.

Of course, you can read a better review of it on the CBC website.

Miracle

Well,.. the long wait is over.. I can now tell you what I thought of the movie, "Miracle"!

First of all, let me get some of the negatives out of the way. I suspected that since Disney produced it, they must have some sort of slant. Nevertheless, they included a voiceover of President Carter claiming in a old speech "our country's goals aren't always the best." Yea, like the recent Iraq war. Subtle slam on America. But I wasn't fooled. Again, a banner that read, "Hey Russia, get the puck out of Afghanistan" was shown in the movie. I believe that history was correct in this instance Russia did in fact invade Afghanistan, but who's in Afghanistan right now fighting the Taliban and Al Queida? Subtle Disney-Liberal dis to the Red, White, and Blue.

With that aside, Kurt Russell playing the late coach Herb Brooks deserves an Oscar nomination. He really showed the driven nature of "Herbie" and fought to keep a bunch of college amateurs playing as a team. My favorite scene is when he made the entire team run wind sprints after a game until they realized that they represented a cause larger than themselves.

Go see the film or go read my review at The College Press in greater detail.